This New Year has been great for helping me to realize that my job as a stay at home mom
is actually important. I'm always aware of my instincts telling me that this is the best thing for our family. But sometimes I get so clouded in self doubt and frustration, that it's difficult for me to see.
On New Years Eve we had some of our parent friends over, so of course the discussion of the evening revolved around our children (my apologies to my other friends attending, I know for a fact listening to a bunch of people talk about their kids can be super boring and I hope we didn't turn you off to the idea of procreating)Anyway...where was I? Ah yes. Talk of our children. My friend Liz has a newborn. She was talking about how being a parent is a bit different than she had anticipated. The sheer amount of responsibility for this little person is overwhelming. And the sleep deprivation, she said, makes her feel like she's a crazy person. It was comforting to hear that. Not because I'm glad that Liz is feeling tired and mental. But because I know that I'm not the only person that gets that way.
Naturally, I'm totally aware that most, if not all mothers and fathers have their moments. And by moments I mean on the verge of a nervous breakdown, not quite sure if we made the right choice, wondering what we are doing here and wondering how we can just get some freaking sleep. But to hear Liz state it so plainly made me feel like I'm not fighting a battle alone. Thank you Liz and Olivia.
The second half of my realization came the following day. I spent the afternoon and evening with my friend Virginia. She has such a positive outlook on life. I admire her ability to smile through anything and make cooking and craftiness just look so darn easy. I've known Virginia less than a year, but I already feel like I've learned from her. My skills in the kitchen improved ten fold because of something I heard her say a few months ago. She was listening to someone tell her about their adventures in apple pie baking. They went back to the store several times trying to find the right kind of apples to bake with. Virginia said, "I'm pretty sure they are thinking about it too much."
Right then and there, I allowed my instincts and taste buds to take over in the kitchen and now it feels so easy!
Back to parenthood. Virginia is getting married next week, so we were talking a lot about relationships and homemaking. She mentioned a movie that she watched where the mother falls sick with terminal cancer, and the adult daughter comes home to help take care of her and the house and her father. The daughter is overwhelmed with how much work it all is and asks her mother how she could stand it over the years. How she could do all that she does and no one notices. The mother told her that she does it because she loves it. She loves her family and taking care of the house. She doesn't need to be thanked for doing her job. Virginia admired how this woman felt. I must admit, that I do, too.
I'm no breadwinner, that's for sure. But these past two days made me remember that earning money is not nearly as important to me as taking care of my family. Screw resolutions. That's my New Year's Realization.
