Breeder.

I've always had an instinct to reproduce. For many years before I had Jack, I had a strong urge to make babies. I remember this urge was at it's peak in the week leading up to my positive pregnancy test. I was pregnant and had no idea. I was threatening to break up with my poor boyfriend because I wanted children asap and he wanted them never. A week later I discovered that I was ten weeks pregnant (how did I miss THAT?) and all turned out for the best.

While I was carrying Jack I felt happier and more comfortable than I had ever been in my entire life. I was finally in my element. I felt like myself when I was pregnant. Which is odd, because up until then I had never really been in that situation. How could a short nine months truly be me?

Then Jack was born and all was perfect. I missed my pregnancy state. But I had reached true motherhood. That's what pregnancy is all about, right? So... mission accomplished. Baby born. Tammy is a mom. End of story, right? I thought I had been cured of my crazy baby obsession.

Apparently, not so. Jack isn't even one year old yet and I'm already craving baby number two. I find myself daydreaming about it every few hours. That's silly, right? So yeah, I might have another. Then what? In ten months I might want yet another. When can this end? How many babies until my sick craving is satisfied? I think I would be just as happy with an adopted baby. But again, I could adopt babies until I turn blue. Will I want to do this when I'm fifty? Sixty? When will I decide that I need no more. The instinct to reproduce gets turned off at some point right? Adoption makes menopause obsolete in the baby raising world.

And why am I so concerned? I'm twenty five and I've only had one. I have plenty of time for more. I love being a mommy. And I REALLY love being pregnant. I think I might love pregnant more than I love trapeze. And if you know me, you know trapeze is my true love. (The perfect love, actually...it can never break my heart. Only my bones.)

I believe in large families. Not for everyone. But definitely for me. What is with me? I'm soooooo broody!! Someone pleeeeeeze talk me into sanity!